


You never know until you try it

by foxglovesserai



Category: Football RPF
Genre: LFC squad mentioned, M/M, hints of Mo/Dejan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-06-16 06:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15430533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxglovesserai/pseuds/foxglovesserai
Summary: Jordan is surprised by his teammate's sudden confession, but maybe even more surprised with his own feelings about it.





	1. the confession

"So, when will you finally get yourself a woman?“ Jordan asked with a sigh.

"It's not such an easy thing to do, even when you are not a famous guy. How could I know if it's real love or just money grabbing?“ Adam replied getting a bit annoyed. He hated _the woman_ talks, especially when coming from his best friend's mouth.

They sat in an italian restaurant, eating dinner together as they oftend did. Today was their carbs day, so they overindulged in different italian delicacies.

"In all these years I've known you, I don't remember you ever dating for more than a few weeks. You cannot know if it's the real deal if you don't even try! How can _no_ woman be good enough for you?“ Jordan asked teasingly, stuffing his mouth with spaggheti.

_Well, no woman is you._ Adam thought to himself, looking fondly at his friend, and chuckling at his messy eating. "It's more complicated than that.“ he simply said and Jordan rolled his eyes.

Through the years Adam wanted to reveal the truth to Jordan, with whom he'd always shared everything - all the joys, fears, dilemmas… But there was this paralyzing fear that by telling him the most important truth, he would ruin that friendship forever. Not just the truth about his feelings for Jordan himself, but his feelings toward men in general. He feared that they would not be able to keep the same close relationship they had so far, that it would be tainted by Jordan's fear whether Adam's touch, or look, or hug and kiss after every scored goal meant something more than just that. The fact that Adam had no soul with whom he could talk about that ate him alive. Maybe it was time to do something about that.

"Hendo… What if I told you something really terrible and shameful? Would you still be my friend?" Adam asked quietly, playing with his food.

"Ads, what are you talking about? What did you do?“ Jordan asked, worry rising in his voice. The worst thoughts came to his mind.

"Please, just promise me… That you will still be my friend.“ Adam said and kept his eyes on Jordan's.

Jordan met his gaze, and quietly said "Of course I will. Always.“

"The reason I don't often talk about girls.. It's well… It's because I'm not really into them.“ Adam said, grimacing and giving out a little laugh.

Jordan stood frozen for a time. He hadn't expected this kind of confession. And then a wave of relief washed over him. "Ads…“ he started with a chuckle, eyes still on his friend. "You scared the shit out of me! I thought you commited some serious crime or something like that.“ He exclamed. He was still in a state of disbelief, but wanted to be supportive of his friend. "You're not shitting me, are you?“

Adam met his gaze and shook his head in response. It seemed to go better than he expected. Jordan wasn't angry or disgusted, but seemed genuinly ok with this revelation.

"I can't say I'm not surprised, but it's ok, it really is. I'm glad you told me!“ Jordan added with a smile. Adam kept messing with his food, but he looked less tense, like a stone was lifted of his heart. "You cannot imagine what a realief it is to finally let it out.“ He said. And the biggest relief was that his relationship with Jordan seemed to stay the same. He only wished he could tell him further truth. How Adam felt about _him_.

"So, you actually go on dates with guys?“ Jordan asked, and Adam gave him a sad look.

"Well, not really. I mean, I myself don't know how to handle my relationships without causing media scandal. Would the fans be ok with that? Would the other guys from the club be ok with that? I tried out some dating apps, where I would conceal my real identity, but every time I had to finally meet someone in person, I would freak.“ Adam seemed so miserable saying this Jordan felt a sudden rush of empathy for his friend overflowing him. „So that is it. The real reason I don't have a girlfriend.“ Adam added. Jordan was silent for a while, not being sure how to console his friend. He wanted to give him a big hug, but now that gesture seemed awkward to him, like Adam might get the wrong idea.

"Maybe it would be easier if you dated someone you knew. Do you like someone who is close to you?“ Jordan offered.

Adam looked at his loving friend, his worried blue eyes, the lines of his face he knew by heart, the lips he wanted to kiss for so long. There was a stain from spagetti sauce on Jordan's beard and Adam let out a chuckle, it was an adorable thing to him. And then panic started to rise in him. _What if Jordan found out what I feel every time I look at him?_ Jordan still looked at Adam, studying his face, and Adam felt sudden rush of blood coming to his face. The warmth he felt flooding his cheeks made him realize he probably looked to obvious. Jordan noticed Adam's discomfort and remembered how Adam liked to be close to him, how he often hugged him, touched him, revolved around him like he was the centre of the universe. He shifted uncomfortably.

„Ads… Do you maybe… like me?“ Jordan dared to ask.

Adam blushed even harder. „Listen Hendo, I know where my place is, ok? I would never make a move on you. I know with whom I have a chance and with whom I don't, so don't worry about it.“ Adam said.

„You still haven't answered my question“ Jordan wanted it all out in the open.

„Of course I like you, idiot!“ Adam said and Jordan's face blushed as well. „But don't worry, I would never put you in a position you don't wanna be in.“ Adam tried to reassure him with a small smile. Now this truth was out as well, and Jordan didn't seem to freak.

"I see. Well.. I'm glad." Jordan said in loss of words. He was stupefied by Adam's confession, but flattered at the same time. He couldn't believe his best friend would fall for him. He smiled at Adam, trying to show him that he really was ok with his feelings, and Adam was glad. Everything was good. Adam felt overwhelmed with relief.

„Maybe this is enough excitement for both of us for one evening. Let me pay the check to compensate.“ Adam offered with a wink.

 

***

 

When Jordan fell into his bed that night, he couldn't fall asleep because he was constantly thinking about that evening and Adam's words. Adam could be messing with him, being the joker he is, but the sadness Jordan saw in Adam's eyes when he talked about his failed relationships really seemed genuine. Adam said he would never try anything with Jordan, and that seemed great at that moment in the restaurant, but maybe that was just Jordan fooling himself. Now, lying in the darkness, thinking about Adam, he actually felt disappointed by those words. This feelings confused him. He wanted to attribute it to alcohol, but he hadn't drank a drop of it that evening. It was a real deal. The fact that Adam, his best friend, would not make a move on him, truly made Jordan sad. Lying in the darkness he started imagining what it would feel like, being with Adam, touching him, kissing him, making love to him… Now it seemed crazy that that idea hadn't occured to him earlier. He remembered all of their sleepovers and shared rooms on trips, watching tv and falling asleep side by side on the same bed. So many moments which could have been so much more.. wasted.. _Oh shit, get it together Jodran!_ he thought to himself, trying to block the images from his head. He felt a bit embarrased by his thoughts, but couldn't deny that they made him feel good. He turned over in his bed, covering his head with a pillow, and forced himself to go to sleep. Nevertheless, when he slept, he dreamt of his best friend.


	2. Unexpected turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jordan decided to give Adam a shot, but things didn't go as planned.

The next day at practice, Jordan tried his best to act normal. He tried to smile as usual, play the best he could and not be weird to Adam. However, every time the two of them exchanged looks, Jordan  quickly looked away. Thoughts from the night before still hounted his mind and he felt embarrased by his fantasizing about Adam's kisses and touches. Maybe it would be best to keep away from Adam for a while, he thought, just until he clears with himself what exactly it is what he feels for Adam. He didn't want to rush into something he wasn't sure about and ruin their friendship in process. During their practice play, Jordan missed on most opportunities to pass the ball to Adam, even though they were chosen for the same side and Adam was frantically waving his hands and calling for the ball. He barely had any contact with Adam, and avoided his eyes. Adam could not hide his confusion and hurt. He got so lost in thoughts he made big mistakes at the field all the time.

_What changed?_ Adam wondered, noticing how differently Jordan acted as opposed to evening before. After the practice, he was quiet and serious in the changing room and his teammates could not but notice the absence of the usual positive vibe in the room.

„Hey, what's up with you Adam?“ Mo asked him with his usual broad smile. „ You seem a bit down today.“ A lot of guys from the team nodded their heads in consent.

„I'm ok, don't worry. Just have to sort some things of my own. I'll do better tomorrow.“ Adam said and tried to flash a smile, but failed.  He didn't have the energy to pretend to be happy. He tried looking at Jordan, but Jordan stared at his shoes, not meeting Adam's gaze.

„Why don't we go grab some drinks tonight? What do you say, to ease you up a little bit? Hendo, you're coming as well?“ Milly suggested, trying to lighten up Adam. But Jordan refused the idea, and left soon after.

„Is everything alright between you two? It's so strange when you're both acting out on the same day.“ Mo asked Adam.

„Don't ask“ was everything Adam was able to say, on the verge of tearing up. After yesterday, he really thought he would get support form Jordan, he hoped Jordan would accept him for who he is, and really looked like he was ok with it. How could Adam come out to the rest of his teammates, when the closest one to him rejected him? But maybe Jordan was alright with Adam being gay, just not the part about Adam's feelings for him. Adam desperately wanted to make things right between them. Maybe Jordan would come back to him if Adam had somebody permanent, maybe then he would not feel in danger of Adam's affections. It has been just one day and he already missed his best friend desperately.  

As soon as Adam came home, he took out his mobile phone and went to a dating app he'd had installed. He was chatting with few guys since he tried the app, but nothing too serious. Still, there was one, Marco, who seemed really nice and shared a lot of interests with him. Marco's love for Liverpool FC was a big bonus. He wandered how Marco would react when he found out that all tat time he was chatting with the famous Adam Lallana (Marco already admitted he thought him hot, among some other LFC players). Adam decided to shut out his fear of coming to public as gay, and typed a message: „Hey.. how about we finally meet up in person? ...Tonight?“ He pressed the send button.

 

***

Jordan was sitting in the dark of his living room, just staring at the space and sipping on a beer, trying to make sense of his feelings. In all the time he spent with Adam, it never crossed his mind that there could be someting more between them. You need a special connection to work together on the field, and Adam and Jordan's really was a special one, they understood each other's signs perfectly. He remembered how Adam would always jump on top of him after a goal, wrapping his legs around Jordan's torso, cupping his head and kissing the side of his head. He didn't want that to stop. He remembered all those times they had neighbouring rooms at the hotels at the away games, but in the end they always sneaked out to each other's rooms, and spent the nights together, next to each other, just talking or joking or just lying in silence and watching tv. He loved Adam, he realised, he loved how close they could be with each other. It was unimaginable for Jordan to have anyone else but Adam to snuggle up next to him, watching him with his beautiful hazel eyes. He started to imagine what it would be like to get even closer, to kiss Adam's lips, hands sliding down each other's bodies. Feelings from the day before came back in a rush, but Jordan decided not to push them back this time. He felt excitement he hadn't felt in a long time, tingling in his stomach, his cock getting hard. He started stroking it rythmically but slowly, wanting this fantasy to last. He imagined his hand was Adam's hand instead, he imagined Adam's face next to his face, smell of his sweat, sound of his breathing. _I want you so bad..._ Jordan thought lustfully. When at last he came, his mind seemed clearer. Maybe it was the effect of the beer he drank before on the empty stomach, or the masturbation, but it seemed like a right idea to give Adam a chance.

 

***

When the next day Jordan arrived at Melwood, he was anxious to see Adam. Adam was already there, which was unusual for him, since he was a huge sleepy head. He was in the middle of changing and Jordan got distracted by his naked body. Adam caught him staring, and Jordan flashed him his signature smile.

„Morning!“ Jordan greeted the team and got closer to Adam. „I'd like to talk with you for a second, if you don't mind.“ He told him.

„Great, because I wanted to talk to you as well!“ Adam said cheerfully. „I have some good news to tell you.“ They waited until their teammates went out on the field.

„Hendo, the talk we had the other day… It really helped me, you know.“ Adam started talking before Jordan could say anything. „I decided to stop acting so cowardly and got myself a date!“ he said, looking for Jordan's reaction. When he saw Jordan's brows furrow, his smile got replaced with confusion. „Umm… I thought that it would be good news.“ Adam added.

„Yes, it is good! Wow… I'm really glad you finally took that step.“ Jordan tried to smile the best he could, but the corners of his lips barely moved. _You must be fucking kidding me!_ He thought to himself, disappointed by the speed at which Adam found himself a date.

„So, what is he like, you should tell me about him.“ Jordan said, boiling inside, but trying his best to look interested.

„His name is Marco, he is tall and buffed, he loves Liverpool of course, we share mutual liking of different tv shows, like Game of Thrones.. What else.. Oh, he was out of his mind when we met, it was a pleasure to freak him out like that. He couldn't believe he was actually getting a date with the real Adam Lallana! He almost passed out!“ Adam laughed, remembering the situation. „Yeah, and he's a great kisser.“ He added more quietly, but giving Jordan a mischievous smile.

„Did you go any further than just kissing?“ Jordan asked.

„Not yet, but there will be time for these things.“ Adam said and Jordan felt relieved. He felt like he would explode from jealousy if Adam and _that_ _Marco_ got more physical.

„So, what was that thing you wanted to talk to me about?“ Adam asked, still glowing.

„Never mind, we'll be late for practice“ Jordan said and turned his back to Adam. He walked out on the field with grim look on his face.

 

 


	3. Not so much milk and honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam seems happy in love to Jordan and the whole team, but is he really?

Through the next couple of weeks things went more or less back to normal. Well, almost all things. Adam was a bit more cheerfull, if that was even possible, so much the rest of the teammates kept constantly teasing him about it. It was obvious for them that something good was happening in his life, but Adam was secretive. Things woked well with Marco, and Adam trembled when he just thought about him, but he was not ready to talk to everybody about it. Besides, he still got cramps in his stomach every time he looked at Jordan. He regreted Jordan wasn't in Marco's place, but he felt like he made the best decision for both of them.

For Jordan, however, it was everything but happy days. He underpreformed at trainings, earning constant scolds from Klopp. He felt slow and was truly unmotivated. He tried his best to run faster and kick harder, but thoughts about Adam kept pulling him down. Adam was all happy and giddy all the time, while Jordan was alone, not getting any affection, and had to constantly pretend that everything was fine. But he hated Marco and couldn't help it from showing.

"Hendo, are you jealous?“ Milly asked hitting Jordan lightly on the shoulder.

"You don't have your precious Ads all for yourself anymore, eh?“ Milly added after Jordan shot him a seemingly confused look.

 _Could it be possible Adam told about his boyfriend to everyone?_ Jordan wondered. "What do you mean?“ he asked Milly.

"Well, just look at him. He won't say anything, but he definitely has a girlfriend, all the other lads agree with me.“ Milly said. Jordan saw Lovren nodding his head in agreement.

"Don't play stupid now, we know you have all the juicy details.“ Lovren winked at him.

"It's not on me to tell!“ Jordan said, trying to avoid further questioning.

"We won't tell him you told us, come ooon!“ Lovren insisted.

"You guys are the worst! If he won't tell, he won't tell. Give him time!“ Jordan said and the rest of the guys just laughed.

"We won't wait for too long!" Mo added, smiling as usual.

 

***

"Those guys are onto you Adam, you have to come up with some cover story.“ Jordan told Adam while they were out for coffee in the training break. Their hanging out after practice, although at first a bit awkward, became regular again.

"I know.“ Adam replied. "I want to tell them the truth, but I don't want to rush things. I don't mind the teasing so much, as long as they don't ask for too much detail.“

"You don't want to rush things? I thought it was all milk and honey with you and Marco.“ Jordan said, hoping Adam would deny it.

In thruth, it was far from milk and honey. Adam loved to spend his evenings with Marco, discovering new ways of enjoyment in bed and exploring different positions. After all, he'd never been with a man before, and there was so much to learn. They hung out every night at Adam's place, and after a drink or two (they would most often skip dinner) they would go to bussiness of exploring each other. As much as Adam enjoyed it, he couldn't help but notice that Marco had a selfish and a bit cruel side. Marcus was always the dominant one and liked things to get rough. He would rarely cuddle after sex and was inconsiderate about Adam's feelings and comfort. It's not like Adam didn't like it rough, its just that after Marco took what he wanted, Adam was left craving softer touches and gentler kisses, which never came. Often at such times, while Marco was soundly sleeping, Adam would lie thinking how things could have been like with Jordan. He was sure Jordan would be more gentle and understanding, giving himself fully and not just taking from Adam. He craved Jordan's touch, so he sometimes stretched his arm over Marco, pulling him in a hug, pretending it was his dear friend instead.  

What also breached Adam's zone of comfort was when yesterday Marco brought out a camera, wanting to film things they did in bed. Adam was strongly opposed to that idea, fearing who may see those tapes in the end, but Marco knew how to play him. After few hours of sweet talking and gentle kisses, Marco persuaded Adam to give in. Only later, when Adam recovered from lovers daze, he realized what a fool he had been. He exposed himself completely to a person he didn't really know that well.

"It is good…“ Adam said in response to Jordan's question, returning to reality. "But sometimes I wonder if Marco wants to be with me for me, or for my money and fame. Lately I'm not so sure.“ Adam looked at his coffee, worry showing in his puppy eyes. "It's so hard to trust people, you know… I wish I had someone I could completely be relaxed with, without having to worry about that person's motives.“ Adam said and lifted his hazel gaze towards Jordan.

 _It could have been me, you idiot, if you only waited a bit longer._ Jordan thought and rested his hand on Adam's shoulder. He kept his hand there for a long time, and Adam was grateful for it. Sometimes a touch from a person you love means more than any word of comfort.

"Will you tell me more about it? Why you're not sure about his motives?“ Jordan asked, worried for his friend.

"Sometimes I think, if instead of Marco I had a woman who wanted new dresses and cosmetics every week, it would be less expensive than himself. He is constantly making me feel bad about my wealth, so I keep buying him new jackets and suits and consoles and gadgets for his home. He is insatiable. I'm worried what he's going to ask for next.“ Adam complained. „I like him a lot, and I've learned a great deal of things about me and my sexuality with him, but sometimes I wonder if he is worth it.“ Adam said, taking a bite out of a croissant he was not supposed to be eating, but felt like it was excused in times of emotional difficulties. It was always his thing, numbing feelings with comfort food. Jordan gave him a disapproving look, but decided to let this one go.

"At least he made things better for you and me, you don't seem mad at me anymore.“ Adam said with a small smile. Jordan's rejection broke his heart, but the most important thing was that he was still in his life.

„What do you mean by that? When was I mad at you?“ Jordan asked in complete incomprehension.

"After I told you I liked you. You avoided me the whole day and acted like we were worst enemies. I knew when I found someone things would change. I understood your feelings, don't worry.“ Adam said and Jordan almost spilled his coffee.

 _Understood? Oh no.. this is so far from understanding!_ Jordan thought. He realized just now that Adam only searched for a boyfriend because of his stupid and cold behaviour that day at practice. How he could make Adam see the truth?


	4. A night in Madrid

Jordan was trying to talk to Adam for a while, trying to clear up the situation between them, but it was hard to find some alone time for the two of them. They were either on practice, surrounded by other players, and coaches, and staff, or Adam was with Marco, with whom he still spent most of afternoons with. Jordan was frustrated because he could get 5 minutes tops alone time with Adam, and that wans't nearly enough for saying all he had to say. Still, he thought of an opportunity. There was a big game in front of them, a friendly game with Madrid for which they were flying to Spain in few days time. It wasn't a friendly game in the players' opinions, because every player had to put all of himself in the game in order for Klopp to put them in the team as season regulars. But that was currently less important to Jordan. His main wish was that on the trip he and Adam would get neighbouring rooms again, so he can sneak into Adam's room like in the good old times.

When the day came and they finally got on the plane, situation was as usual. Loris had his headphones on, listening to music and occasionally taking a selfie. Gini was sound asleep. Mo and Lovren were instagramming and cracking jokes. Adam and Jordan took their usual places in the back of the plane, where they could have peace and privacy.

Jordan thought plane ride might provide them a few hours of peace when they could bond a bit, but Adam was more serious than usual and less talkative. He kept glancing worriedly at his phone and fidgeting.

„What's on your mind? You missing someone?“ Jordan tried joking to ease up the atmosphere.

„Nothing and no.“ Adam simply said.

„What do you mean nothing? Ads.. It's obviously not nothing, you seem really nervous.“ Jordan said, getting frustrated by Adam's short responses.

Adam was quiet, weighing whether he should tell Jordan about his problem or not. He was already preoccupied and he didn't want to put it onto Jordan's shoulders as well, especially not before the game. Still, he had no one else he could be as honest with as with Jordan. He missed his friend, and longed for the times when things were better between them. He just couldn't help himself and be a good friend, when he had so much on his mind.

„I'm just nervous about the game.“ He said at last and in part it was true. He was terrified he would fail on the pitch, that he would make mistakes and play badly and spend the season on the bench. He cursed Marco and how he made him feel. He cursed Marco because his friendship with Jordan was suffering because of him.

„It's nothing. We'll talk later.“ He said and turned to stare through the window for the rest of their flight.

Jordan mumbled _fine_ but was really annoyed by Adam and his secrecy.

 

***  
Madrid as a city really got to Adam. He was sitting on the balcony of his hotel room, trying to gather his thoughts and calm down before the game next day. He turned off his phone, trying to disconnect from his life, and just enjoyed the night view of the city. The air was still hot form the afternoon sun, stone streets were radiating heat, but Adam found it pleasing. He felt like he chronicly lacked warmth. Every now and then a breeze would rustle leaves on the trees in the street below. He got caught in the peacefulness of the night and wanted for time to stop, so he could get stuck in that moment, far away from England, football, Marco and all of his problems. Then he heard silent knocking coming from the room.

"It's open!“ he yelled, too lazy to move from his perfect spot.

Jordan walked into the room and came out to the balcony. "I saw the light coming from your balcony. Do you mind?“ he asked. Adam shook his head and moved to make space for Jordan to sit down.

Jordan sat, pressing his body into Adam's, and taking his hand into his own. "You know I care for you, right?“ He started softly. "You can tell me anything.“

Adam didn't mind additional heat coming from Jordan's body on that warm night. It felt so good havng him near him, less lonely. He pressed Jordan's hand more tightly into his own. "I know.“ He barely managed to say, his throat tightening.

"You've been acting really weird lately. And today especially.“ Jordan said.

 "I'm afraid of tomorrow.“ Adam admitted.

"Why all of a sudden? You were always excited about games, never scared.“ Jordan said.

"But tomorrow is different because, unlike the usual, I don't feel like playing at all. I'm afraid I'll do terribly.“ Adam started saying and Jordan was uncomprehensive. He wondered what happened to Adam when all of a sudden he lost his positive attitude and will to play.

"Then something really bad must have happend to you." Jordan said, afraid of what he will hear.

 _Well, it's now or never_. Adam thought. "Marco threatened me, and I can't get it off my mind.“ 

"What?!“ Jordan exclaimed in disbelief.

"I broke up with him and he didn't take it well, obviously.“ Adam said.

"Oh… I see…“ Jordan barely managed to say. His mind was overflowing with thoughts. _They broke up! Marco's threathning him! What is going on?_ He didn't know on which fact to  concentrate first. "So he threathened to hurt you, break your legs, or what? We will report him.“ he said at last.

"No, no, nothing like that. And I don't want to go to the police, it's a bit delicate situation.“ Adam said, blushing. "He won't hurt me physically, he just wants money. A lot of it.“

"But why would you give him money?“ Jordan was slow.

"Because he has some videos of me“ Adam said with a cringe. "Like… naked ones.“

"What! You made sex tapes??“ Jordan asked with eyes wide and a giggle escaped him. But as soon as he saw Adam's frustrated face, he composed himself. "Sorry.“ He added. "But is it really that bad?“

"Well if it was a woman, I wouldn't care _that_ much, but come on… I don't want to come out this way. I'm not ready for this.“ Adam admitted. Suddenly, all the stress from days before overflooded him and tears started forming in his eyes.

Jordan looked at his friend's tortured face and pulled him closer, wraping his arms around him. "Oh Ads..." He shouldn't have laughed, this was a serious matter, he realized. It was unbelievable for him that somebody would use Adam in such a cruel way. But he was curious about the tapes. "Can I see the videos?“ He asked, not knowing what posessed him to say it out loud.

"Really?“ Adam gave him a quizzical look backing away. "After all this, the best you can say is if you could please see the videos?“

Jordan looked at him seriously, grains of sweat forming on his forhead in the heat. „Yes.. I would like to see.“ He said at last. "To see if it's really that bad, I mean.“ He tried to excuse himself, badly. Adam was lost in thoughts for few seconds and then, to Jordan's surprise, he nodded lightly and reached for his tablet.

The video was black and white, but good quality and there was no way the person in it could pass for anyone else than Adam Lallana. Sometimes his face was out of focus, but the tattoos were obviously his, there was no mistaking that. The video started with just Adam, lying naked on his back, grinning into the camera, trying to push it away.  Even though Jordan saw his friend naked before, it was never like this, in bed, with his cock hard. „Oh wow“ he mumbled at the sight, shifting a bit. His pants started to feel too tight all of a sudden. Adam kept his eyes on Jordan, instead of the video, and was amused by his reaction. He didn't expect that his friend, who claimed had no interest in Adam, would be so aroused at the sight of him naked. He noticed a bulge starting to appear in Jordan's pants.

"Uncomfortable?“ Adam asked him, not specifying what he was refering to. Jordan caught the meaning and blushed.

"It's not that bad, you know… Nothing to be ashamed of. You look good.“  Jordan rambled, pretending he didn't catch the hidden message.

"I can see that.“ Adam said with a chuckle. "I just didn't expect you to like it.“

"I always like you.“ Jordan said after a pause. Now he was looking at Marco's hands working Adam's cock and how Adam's face changed into a blissful one, eyes closed and mouth slightly open, his chest rising and fists clenching. He turned the video off. All of a sudden, he didn't want to watch Marco please his friend. He wanted to be the one doing the pleasing.

"Too bad not in the way I would like you to-" Adam started saying in reply, but was interrupted by Jordan's lips which out of blue clashed with his own in a quick kiss.

"Is this the way you would like me to like you?“ Jordan asked, few centimeters away from Adam's face. "And… like that?“ Jordan's eyes darted towards the tablet.

"Oh…“ Adam was baffled, his mind emptying of thoughts. He couldn't imagine such a turn of events in his wildest dreams. Since he couldn't find words to say, he instead leaned onto Jordan and kissed him gently in return. After a few shy kisses, they swiched their bodies into more comfortable positions, turning completely to each other, intertwining their limbs and locking their lips into more passionate kisses. Adam climbed on top of Jordan, pushing his body into the sofa, Jordan hitting his head on the armrest in process. They both laughed, lowering a bit. Jordan couldn't believe how good it felt to have Adam's weight pressed onto his own body. He shivered when Adam started exploring his body, lowering his hands down his torso, unzipping his too tight pants, heading for the bulge. "You sure you want this?“ Adam asked, but the look on Jordan's face and little noises he produced were the answer enough.

"Oh yes.“ Jordan mumbled. He had zero sexual experience with a man, but he trusted Adam completely, and he desperately wanted to make him happy and forget all the bad things that happend to him. If nothing, just for one evening. But just as he was trying to pull Adam's shirt over his head, a sudden sound brought them both back to reality.

"Adam Lallana, you're getting a fine!“ they heard a familliar voice yelling through the doors.

"Oh shitshitshit“ Adam mumbled, rolling off the sofa and hitting the floor. "Hideee“ he whispered to Jordan and went to open the doors.

"Evening boss..“ Adam mumbled, still outh of breath, with his hair ruffled and shirt crumpled. He tried to give Klopp the most innocent look he could manage, but Klopp wasn't falling for it.

"Evening? It's the middle off the night, and your lights are still on!“ Klopp was raging. "What were you doing, some angry aerobic?“ he was looking at him from head to toes. "I hope you don't have a girl in there stud, tomorrow is a big game, no matter the friendliness.“ He said.

"No girls, boss, trust me, I wouldn't let you down like that. Just uh.. vivid imagination.“ Adam said, blocking the doors and hoping Jordan hid well.

Klopp rolled his eyes. "Go to bed Lallana, or you'll be out of game tomorrow.“ He said and turned to leave.

When the doors closed, Jordan peeped through the bathroom doors. "He's right, you know. We should go to sleep. There will be times to continue this.“ He approched Adam and cupped his face into his hands. Adam seemed a bit brighter. His eyes were still worried and tired, but his lips were smiling. "And we'll deal with that Marco guy. You're not alone anymore. You can count on me.“ He pressed his lips to Adam's and bade him good night.

 

 


	5. Tequila sunset

When time came for Adam to clap Gini's hands and step into the game, his head was 10 pounds lighter. His old spark was back, and he wanted to play at his best, if for nothing, then for Jordan. It was 56th minute of the game, they were losing 0-1 and there was plenty of time to prove himself and turn the game into Liverpool's favour. Klopp gave him an approving wink. Adam ran towards the centre of the pitch, keeping his eyes on Jordan. He was doing what he loved most, with the person he loved most, and he decided to make the most of that time.

He was getting more and more annoyed by Ramos. Adam watched him from the bench, fouling Bobby so brutaly he had to leave the game and getting only a yellow card. His rough play and tackling of his teammates fuled Adam him with anger. He fixated on Ramos and decided on stealing his every ball. As a matter of fact, a chance occured just before the game was about to finish. Real's defense got more and more relaxed as the end drew near. Not giving Ramos space to breathe, Adam saw a perfect opportunity. Sadio was in the box, trying to make way past Ramos, but failed and lost the ball. Adam skidded into Ramos legs, stealing the ball from him and sending it between Marcelo's legs towards Mo, who was at the pefect spot at the perfect time to send the ball flying just out of Navas' reach and score a last minute equaliser. Adam saw Klopp in the distance, shaking his fists in approval. Crowd roared and Mo ran into Adam's arms. "What a pass!“ Mo said kissing him on the head.

Soon after there were Jordan's hands holding Adam. He kissed him too, a little to closer to his lips. Adam smiled.

"You killed.“ Jordan said. Adam recieved an approving look from Klopp, who gave him a thumb up, even though they hadn't won.

 

***

"Drinks tonight?“ Asked Milly in the changing room.

"Ah, always the first one to want to go out partying“ Dejan teased. "But yes, we arent't in Madrid every day, we should have some fun!“

"Only if Dejan pays my drinks“ Mo laughed.

"You again with that!“ Dejan pulled his friend into a headlock, messing with his hair. They continued wrestling, to the amusement of their teammates.

Jordan sneaked behind Adam "Do you want to go out or.. maybe stay in instead?“ he whispered into Adam's ear.

"We should go with them. It would be weird if they all go but us, right?“ Adam said.

"Yeah, you're probably right.“ Jordan agreed, looking a bit disappointed.

"Hurry up you two or we're leaving without you!“ Gini yelled as they were all leaving the room. Adam turned to follow, but Jordan caught his arm to stop him. As soon as he was sure there was nobody left, he pressed his lips to Adam's.

"I just had to take the chance while I could.“ Jordan said when their lips broke away, but Adam cut him off with his hungry mouth, pressing him to the wall. "Oh, I think they can wait for 5 minutes.“

They came to the bus 15 minutes late, messy and flushed. They rushed to the back of the bus, avoiding eye contact, and hid in the seats behind Dejan and Mo, who gave them curious looks.

"Hmm, so it finally happend.“ Dejan commented sizing them up and down, giving them an all-knowing smile.

"About time!“ Mo snickered.

"I don't know what you are talking about!“ Jordan said, his voice a bit too high.

Dejan just put his arm around Mo and pulled him closer. He kissed Mo's ear, taking caution that the rest of the bus doesn't see him.

"We won't tell if you don't tell“ Dejan winked to Jordan, who still had a look of panic on his face. He and Adam just exchanged looks, and after a few moments of silence bursted into giggles.

 

***

The club they went to was wild. It was close to the hotel so they didn't have to think too much about how they will drag their drunken asses home. The place was full of locals, who were really friendly and who didn't seem to care at all that they were a team rivaling Madrid. All eyes were on them and everyone wanted to drink and dance with them. Few girls hitted on Adam and Jordan just stood by smiling at his attempts to avoid dancing with them. He himself didn't pass on the opportunity to have a little fun, so he just winked at Adam's stupefied face when he saw him having a really physical dance with a local girl. No harm in having a little fun. Milly was ordering a second round of beer for everyone, and soon after followed shots of tequila, some paid by them, some on the house, nobody was counting anymore. It wasn't even past midnight when they were all hammered. Milly was chatting up some girls at the bar, Gini, Loris, Trent and Sadio were dancing like crazy, Alberto was singing along spanish songs he knew by heart and Mo and Dejan dissapeared without a trace.

"Congratulations, you managed to chase all the girls away.“ Jordan said, shaky on his feet. He leaned towards Adam, who was sitting at the bar.

"Unlike you! I see you had your fun. And I thought I was the special one.“ Adam was pouting, trying to look serious, but couldn't hold a straight face for too long.

"You are my most specialest!“ Jordan said drunkenly, and leaned on Adam's tigh. He was standing between his legs, their chests almost touching.

"Then prove it.“ Adam said, with a cocky smile, rising one eyebrow.

Jordan didn't think much before kissing him, but Adam quickly pushed him away, smiling but looking around the room. "Watch it!“ he said, but too late. His eyes met Milly's, who was pulling Gini's sleeve and pointing to them.

"Well fuck it, we aren't together for one day and already half of the club knows it.“ Adam said seriously, but in his drunk stupor didn't really care too much. He gave a theatrical wave to them.

"I think it's time we get out of here.“ Jordan said, and pulled Adam of his bar chair. Adam lost his balance, almost falling to the floor, but Jordan caught him and they exited arms around each other. The night air was a much needed refreshment.

"Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick“ Jordan whined, leaning on the wall of the club.

"Wait, don't be sick yet, I want to take a selfie. I wan't to remember this day.“ Adam said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He unlocked the phone and froze.

"What is it?“ Jordan couldn't miss noticing how stiff Adam suddenly became.

"It's Marco.. I almost forgot about him for one day, and there he is, not giving me a break.“ Adam was sobering up rapidly, adrenaline pumping in his veins.

"Oh, that guy.. fuck, what does he want now?“ Jordan slid down the wall and was now sitting on the ground with his head between his knees.

Adam was quickly going through the messages, grains of cold sweat forming on his forhead on that warm night. "He's angry I'm not responding. He says I have time unill Tuesday morning to give him what he wants.“ Adam started pacing nervously.

"But that's… That's less than 3 days from now“ Jordan stated the obvious.

Before anything else could be said, Milly burst through the doors.

"Look Gini, they tried to escape the crime scene, but didn't get far.“ He started to laugh at Jordan who could barely held it together. "That tequila was good, right Hendo?“

"Are you guys ok?“ Gini asked, ignoring Milly.

"Yeah, Jordan, how are you holding up?“ Milly asked again.

"Shitty.“ He mumbled.

"Yeah, you look like it.“ Milly laughed at his drunk skipper and offered him a hand. He took it, and Milly pulled him back on his feet.  

They were all standing in silence, Milly supporting Jordan, Adam still holding his phone in cold sweat.

"Listen, about what you saw inside..“ Adam started.

"Ads.. You don't need to explain. Alcohol brings out the best in us.“ Milly winked.

"No, we don't do that usually.“ Jordan tried to excuse themselves, his voice rising an octave again.

"Oh please, Hendo. Don't do that. Nobody would be happier for the two of you than us, the team that loves you.“ Milly said softly. "But that doesn't mean we cannot have fun of you two in the future.“

Adam was surprised how lightly Milly took everything. Gini just smiled saintly next to him and shrug his shoulders. Adam didn't expect that, he feared that they would feel repulsed.

"You are all really fine with it?“ Adam asked them.

"Well, with your kissing, and jumping all over each other, constantly touching and hugging… I always had my doubts.“ Milly said casually.

"Everybody does that, it's part of winning games!“ Adam protested, but Milly rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but with you two it's not just on the pitch but off the pitch and in training and on dinners and trips and in hotels and.. do I have to go further?“ he said and Gini nodded his head vigorously with every word.

"But you're ok with it?“ Adam still couldn't believe.

"Look, I can't say I'm not surprised, I am… But I would be more surprised if that was anyone else beside you two. I mean, just look at yourselves.“ Milly said.

They started making they way towards the hotel. For a while they walked in silence.

"You don't seem very happy Ads, and you should be. It's a nice night, you played great, we're drunk, what else do you need?“ Milly was scanning Adam's face.

"Not everyone is as supportive as you my friend.“ Adam said. "I have some love life troubles.“ He addmited.

"It didn't look like trouble to me“ Gini finally let out his voice.

"Well, not with Hendo, everything is great with Hendo.“ He said and Jordan shot him a smile. "But there is something else.“ Adam started and told them the whole Marco-blackmailing story.

"Oh that stupid fucker!“ Milly was raging. By the time Adam told his story they reached the hotel and were sobering up. Even Jordan seemed to gather himself a bit, after vomiting along the way. They spread over bed and couch in Adam's room.

"Blackmail is punishable by law.“ Milly said.

"I know, but I don't want to go to the police.“ Adam said. "I would much rather give him the money he wants to have him out of my life.“

"But who will guarantee you that he won't ask for more?“ Gini asked and Adam took a pause. Gini had a point.

"So.. we handle things on our own.“ Milly had a mischievous smile. "We knock on the fucker's doors and tell him that we will beat the crap out of him if he doesn't leave you alone.“ Milly said, proud with his idea. Adam was amoused imagining his buffed friend threatning Marco, it would certanly be a sight. "So we all go“ Milly continued. "Me, Hendo, Gini..“ Gini looked like he wanted to run away, but agreed. Jordan was taken aback as well. He didn't like violence and always did his best to peacefully settle a fight, but for Adam.. it's different when somebody you love is involved. He would do anything for him. He mused how his life turned around so suddenly in the last couple of weeks. "Definitely, I'm in.“ He said. Milly's idea was the best one they had so far.

"And Dejan and Mo“ Adam added.

"They know?“ Milly asked.

"They are very intuitive, let's say. And observant.“ Adam said.

"Ok. That should do it. But you might tell your story to other guys as well, I bet they will all be on his back too. And you know how they say. There's strength in number.“ Milly suggested.

"That would be too much excitement in too short time.“ Adam sighed.

Gini stood up, and pulled Milly's arm. "We should go, have some sleep before the plane tomorrow. And give lovebirds some space.“ He said, and the two of them left.

Jordan lifted of the couch with a strain and dropped on the bed next to Adam. "Way too much excitement already.“ He whispered into Adam's ear, lifting his hand to caress Adam's face.

"I think I'm gonna pass out.“ Adam mumbled, taking Jordan's hand into his own and giving him a tired look. "I'm glad you're here.“ It was everything he managed to say before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

"I'm not going anywhere.“ Jordan said softly and wrapped his body around Adam's more tightly.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was away on holiday, but finally I am posting new chapter. :)  
> Sorry if there are any mistakes, I'm too tired to look for them atm.


	6. The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally decided to try and finish one thing in my life and end this story after a loong time. Sorry to anyone left waiting. I'm just bad at finishing stuff.

 

 

As soon as they were back in England Jordan and Milly started planning on how to deal with Marco. They forbade Adam to ever contact him again and they deleted all of his messages from Adam's phone. Still, they didn't have an awful lot of time for any special preparations, so in the end, they settled on ganging up, banging on Marco's front door and just.. improvising.

On Monday evening, they parked their cars at an isolated parking lot few blocks away from Marco's building.

“This is some shady neighbourhood.“ Dejan said looking nervously around himself. There were only a few working streetlights in the area, one of them neurotically blinking. The only sounds came from some cats moving around trashcans, and the air was completely still and heavy. Dejan's neck prickled.

“What, are you scared? I will take care of you Dej, don't worry.“ Mo said mockingly and started laughing while flexing his muscles.

“Ha-ha!“ Dejan gave him a fake laugh, but calmed down a bit. “Well, I'm sorry I don't have such intimidating muscles like you little man.“ He said while pulling him into headlock. It was just an excuse to touch him as much as he could.

Soon after they heard Jordan's car being parked near by.

“What is that on your face?“ Milly asked Jordan when he spotted him and Adam approaching.

“You gave me a fright man!“ Gini exclaimed grabbing his chest with his hand.

“What? Weren't we supposed to mask ourselves, to look more frightening or something?“ Jordan mumbled innocently through his balaclava. Milly and Dejan were on verge of tears from laughing.

“I told you.“ Adam started snickering as well. “But maybe he should keep it on, his face looks just too innocent.“ he suggested.

“Yeah, there is always a threat that Hendo will actually apologise to Marco when we bang on his door... Hm, thinking about it, maybe we should leave Hendo behind!?“ Milly asked.

“Guys, this is not the time for cracking jokes!“ Jordan said angrily, but still pulled the cap off his head. “Get a grip on yourselves and let's get this over with!“ he started speaking like the skipper leading his team on the pitch. Adam was grateful for it, but also for the comical moment before, which helped dissolve tension in the air.

“Yeah, we should go“ Milly's face turned serious all of sudden and they started making their way down the street towards Marco's building.

They walked side by side, slow steps and arms wide, looking like some boyband preparing to shoot a dramatic music video. Milly was leading, looking badass as always, beside him Mo, trying his best to stay serious, then Dejan, practicing a lethal look which could have been easily inspired by Zoolander. On the other side of Milly was Gini, praying in his head that all goes well, Jordan, his lips in a tight line, and finally Adam, trying to look determined, but actually wanting to run away. With every step that took them closer to Marco, Adam's heart was higher and higher in his throat. He grabbed Jordan's hand.

“Well, this is it..“ He mumbled to himself when they at last reached their destination.

**

Marco opened the door a bit, looking sleepy.

“Ads.. what is this?“ he shot a confused look over the crowd gathered in the hallway. It took him a few seconds to realize what was happening, but as soon as he realized whose faces he was seeing in the dark, he was very much awake. He tried slamming the door shut but Milly caught them.

“Listen creep, don't you talk to him.. Don't you even look in his direction.“ Milly started speaking, quietly but sternly.

“And don't you call him Ads!“ Jordan shouted furiously over Milly's shoulder.

“You're trying to mess up the wrong guy. Breaking Adam's heart… Trying to get his money…“ Milly was saying while pushing the door open, and Marco backed away, not being a match to Milly's strength.

“Well you were right, we have a lot of money.“ Milly continued. “And guess what? We could do a lot of things with that money…“

“Oh jeez..“ A look of panic crossed Jordan's face. _What the hell is he saying_? he thought. Milly started resembling a furious animal, and Jordan suddenly wasn't sure whether his threaths were serious or not. Still, he didn't stop him. Marco stood with his mouth agape, unable to find words.

“Is… Is that a threat?“ he stammered. 

“Of course it's a fucking threat!“ Milly said, his face becoming a dark shade of red.

“Get out or I'm calling the cops!“ Marco squeaked, still backing away, panic rising in his eyes. He went for his phone, but Dejan came in through the door and took the phone from his hands.

“And what would you tell them, you blackmailing piece of shit?“ He shot Marco with a cold-blooded look. “Where is the tape, ha?“ He said sternly, giving Marco small shoves. “Spit it out!“

“It's all on my phone.“ Marco stammered.

“Bullshit.“ Milly said, not believing Marco would so easily tell them the whole truth.

“He has a computer, maybe we should look there.“ Adam's quiet voice was heard from the doorway. Milly and Mo went looking for it, while Gini and Jordan stood protectively in front of Adam. Adam just seemed infinitely sad and uncomfortable. “But please don't look at them too much“ he squeaked and Mo cracked a small smile. The whole situation seemed like a crazy dream. Adam had hard times believing that this situation was actually happening to him. He looked at Jordan's back, desperately needing him in that moment. It seemed like Jordan heard Adam's thoughts because he turned his head and gave him a soft look.

“Hey, don't worry, everything is going to be ok.“ He said squeezing Adam's hand, and it was everything Adam needed in that moment.

“Thank you for always being here.“ He said.

While Mo and Milly searched through the computer, Dejan pushed Marco against the wall. He stood towering over him, with his hands crossed over his chest like an ancient greek statue.

“We found it. And deleted it for good.“ Mo said at last, coming from Marco's room and giving Dejan a little nod.

“Listen freak.” Dejan said “Dont' you _ever_ get ideas like this again, or things will not end so well for you, believe me.“ he shoved Marco roughly against the wall one last time before they walked out of the apartment.

Marco was quiet all the time, looking like the beaten dog, his eyes wide. All they heard when they left was clicking of the locks and quiet sobbing.

**

“Come on, you can stay at my place.“ Jordan said pulling still shivering Adam closer to him.

“I could never thank you enough guys.“ Adam said, returning Jordan's hug. Milly came from his back and squeezed his shoulders. “Don't mention it Ads. We're like family.“

“Yeah, we take care of each other.“ Ginny added, his angelic smile showing for the first time that evening.

Dejan hugged Mo and ruffled his wild hair, planting a kiss on the top of his head. Milly's eyebrow shot in the air. “What, don't tell me you two have a thing as well?“ he asked shaking his head. “So I guess there will come a time when we'll have to go and save your asses from drama as well.“ He tried to sound annoyed, but gave them a little smile in the end. “Just greeeat.“

“That felt good“ Dejan said as they started making their way towards their cars.

“You were scary, you know.“ Mo said and Dejan's eyes shone with pride.

“Well thank you Mo. I kept imagining it was you instead of Ads. That creep is lucky he's still in one piece. I'm so full of adrenaline now I feel like I could kick someone's ass.“

“Oh my.. Now I'm worried what's waiting for me tonight.“ Said Mo teasingly and Milly rolled his eyes. “Ughh- Just don't become like these two…“ he said to Adam and Jordan.

“Don't worry Mo.. I will always be good to you.“ Dejan whispered as they entered their car. “See you guys!“ He shouted through the car window, winking at Adam, and Mo flashing a smile.

“But fuck, they actually are kinda cute.“ Milly said looking the odd pair. They could still quietly hear Mo's laughter and Dejan's warning to fasten the seatbelt.

Milly turned to go. “Are you gonna be ok?“ he asked Ads who gave him a reassuring smile, although he knew it will take some time to become his full self again. “Take good care of him.“ He nodded to Jordan and left.

**

“You don't seem relieved“ Jordan said when they entered his apartment, looking at Adam's still furrowed brow. “You can relax now.“ he started massaging his forhead with fingertips.

“Yeah, I'm still a bit overwhelmed.“ Adam said quietly. “Thank you again.“

“You have to stop tanking me already!“ Jordan said and started taking off Adam's jacket, like from a little child.

“But I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you.“ Adam said looking at his feet.

“I have some ideas…“ Jordan said and pulled Adam further into the flat.

At that moment Adam realised just how different Marco and Jordan were. He expected that Jordan would take him to his room, push him on the bed and there try to make Adam forget his woes. But that was what Marco would do. What Jordan did was that he prepared him a warm bath and left him soaking there while he went to make something to eat.

It took a lot of time for warm water to relax Adam's muscles. Only then he realised how cramped he was the whole night. He sat there with his head leaned on his knees, his mind finally a comfortable blankness. He sat like that for a long time, water already started getting cold when he felt Jordan's warm hands on his back, massaging him gently.

“You'll get all wet.“ Adam protested.

“I don't mind.“ Jordan said and leaned in to give soft kisses to his neck. “I made italian, get out of there or you'll catch a cold.“

They sat on the couch, leaned onto one another, with plates in their laps, Adam's face full of salsa again.

“I can't believe what a mess you make while you eat.“ Jordan laughed and Adam flicked his spoon, sending tomato pieces flying into Jordan's face. Jordan shot him with an incredolous look, but strted laughing. “Ah, you know what, soon my face will be full of salsa anyway.“

He shoved their plates away and climbed on top of Adam. Adam felt his heart pulsing madly, his body in anticipation to be met by Jordan’s hands and lips, but Jordan was suddenly unmoving, just gazing in his eyes with a smile.

“It just came to me.. You remember the last time we ate italian?“ Jordan asked.

“What?“ the question caught Adam off guard, he couldn't search his mind quickly enough to remember the exact time.. and then it came to him. “Oh… I remember.“ The image of the restaurant where he came out to Jordan, admitting that he liked him, popped in his head so vividly, he could still remember the smell of basil and the colour of napkins.

“In the restaurant… You were so worried what I will think of you and will we still be friends… And look at us now.“

“Yeah, it's funny how easily things turn around. If somebody told me then that the next time I get covered with salsa you will be on top of me, I would call them mad.“ Adam laughed and put his hands on Jordan's nape, pulling him closer.

“I should have said it then, but I guess it's never too late… I really like you too.“

Adam rolled his eyes “Yeah, I managed to catch that one somehow… But come on, you talk too much.“ He mumbled while their lips met.

 

 

 


End file.
